From my cousin Iris:

The Four Agreements by Don Miquel Ruiz.

1. Be Impeccable With Your Word
“Speak with integrity. Say only what you mean. Avoid using the word to speak against yourself or to gossip about others. Use the power of your word in the direction of truth and love.”

2. Don’t Take Anything Personally
Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won’t be the victim of needless suffering.

3. Don’t Make Assumptions
“Find the courage to ask questions and to express what you really want. Communicate with others as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstandings, sadness, and drama. With just this one agreement, you can completely transform your life.”

4. Always Do Your Best
“Your best is going to change from moment to moment; it will be different when you are healthy as opposed to sick. Under any circumstance, simply do your best, and you will avoid self- judgment, self-abuse, and regret.”

Number 2 is my personal favorite.  It makes this whole situation slightly more bareable.

What’s My Age Again?

Thanks to Jason and Ben, for a fact that I’ve been over-looking was brought to my attention.  Jason said, “As someone who’s almost 30, I don’t take girls seriously who are younger than 26 or 27.  I just don’t."  Ben added, ”I’m 24 and I’m dating a 20 year old.  No, I don’t take it seriously, she’s 20!

Wow.  I never thought age would be such a huge factor in dating.  I’ve been dating 30-somethings for a while now and we know how that’s worked out (even with the ones who think I’m at least 25 upon first meeting).  Maybe this is why.  But seriously, WHY?  If I’m interesting (supposedly), mature, motivated, and can hold a conversation… what does my age matter?  Honestly, please comment if you have an explanation.  I would like to know.

Why don’t I date someone my age, you ask, because they’re generally binge drinkers, unemployed or uninteresting, and have barely graduated, mentally, from their college years – years that I never fully embraced.  Maybe that’s my problem.  Maybe all the internships and jobs made me take myself too seriously.  I understand that was a sweeping generalization, but until I meet someone who changes my mind, well…  Shit.  I guess I deserve any sweeping generalization that comes my way now.  I’m a walking contradiction right now because I’m so outrageously confused.

I think, until I am old enough to be taken seriously by the guys I want to date, I should stop dating altogether.  Otherwise, it’s just going to be one let-down after another.

I got a text from a friend last night, who’s a tad older, much wiser, and often gives advice about my guy problems: ”Oy!  Ok just calm down/relax… he sounds crazy!  I think you have to start figuring out how to better hone your “crazy” meter and be a bit less “trusting.” Sorry you’re having a crap time.  I’m sending you positive vibes! Xo.“

Comments are welcomed, especially from men!

Dear Elisabeth Hasselback:

From The View yesterday, February 26th, Elisabeth Hasselback set women back another 60 years, as usual with this:

Their bodies should be sacred!… What about their bodies?  We’re in this very sexual society right now okay so we’re supposed to at the same time say, ‘No it’s not a big deal if you’re having sex early; no, it’s not okay if you’re not honoring your own body, how are they supposed to honor their body then choose in a situation of a relationship sexually, so they choose to have sex, okay, so they’re giving themselves over earlier and earlier, we’re seeing the statistics, then they’re in a relationship where their body is also influenced by the man in a different way be it abuse or whatever, then, we’re not teaching them to honor their bodies.

More or less, that’s a manuscript of what the conservative horror of a person (that should be moved to FoxNews as soon as possible) said regarding the Rhianna/Chris Brown abuse situation.  I’m sorry for the lack of proper grammar.  It’s almost impossible to insert grammar into that woman’s rants.  Thank you, Elisabeth, for negating any progress that the feminist movement has made in the past 40 years.  (I am, in fact, not a feminist.)

What’s been bolded of that manuscript is bothersome.  It’s always baffles me when women talk about young women (or girls) having sex.  Why, in sexual situations, is it always the woman “giving over her body”?  Why isn’t it the man?  By harping on the “giving over your body” point, I think women are classifying themselves as second class citizens.  Men and women are equal.  And when they come together to engage in sex, it’s also an act that is equal.

Also, since the invention of birth control, sex isn’t an act purely for the reasons of procreation.  I believe that when you have sex, you simply acting natural and, to quote The Rocky Horror Show, “giving yourself over to pleasure.”  There is nothing sinful about sex; nothing disgusting no matter what age you decide to engage in it, as long as it is your decision and yours alone.

When people, men and women alike, stop yelling at girls & women for “not honoring their bodies” simply because they are listening to their instincts and enjoying themselves (safely, of course), then, and only then, will men and women truly be equals.  In my opinion, at least.

I tweet, therefore I am.

I found this article on Tuesday and posted it to my Twitter, obviously, but I think it deserves a post here.  Thank you, Gawker. I agree.  Why do you need to know where I’m going for dinner?  You don’t.  By the way, follow @thatgirlallison.

I was baffeled because on the front page of the New York Times main section yesterday was this article about students using “stand-up desks” instead of traditional kinds with a chair.  I would not deem this news-worthy, or at least not front page of the New York Times-worthy.  This is proof that today’s youth needs to step away from the 24/7 stimulation they experience and read a book.

As for books, I found out yesterday at Emily Giffin’s fourth book, “Love the One You’re With,” comes out in paperback on April 21st!  I’m incredibly excited because I’ve read her other three books (Something Borrowed/Something Blue/Baby Proof) and I love getting lost in them.

I sent out an email to everyone in my industry that I know, saying that I was still job hunting and if they were looking for any help, and I got a phone call about 10 minutes later!  It was a producer that I met once through faculty at Pace.  She didn’t have anything full- or part-time but she said she needed some help yesterday and today, and she’d pay!  I picked up a couple of pairs of shoes yesterday and I thought, “I could totally be a personal assistant."  Running errands is a better time than sitting at a desk.  I wouldn’t want to be Devil Wears Prada-assisant style though.  I like having a life.

Tonight is a viewing of Requiem For a Dream at Jason’s.  I love this movie, he needs to see it now.  It’s beautifully shot and an extremely affective movie.  Every high school junior should be made to watch it, IMHO.

A Playlist to Yell With

There are certain songs that I listen to when I’m trying to get over someone.  These are those songs:

  1. Fighter (by Christina Aguilera) – No, I’ve never been physically abused, but this is just the epitome of female empowerment.
  2. Boyfriend (by Fefe Dobson) – Yes, this little known song by this one-hit-wonder helps me get through some stuff.  I’d recommend that you all download it.
  3. Don’t Waste Your Time (by Kelly Clarkson) – This is your song for those exes that just won’t let you forget them.
  4. Womanizer (by Britney Spears) – You know you’ve dated at least one.  This is an incredibly catchy send-off to all of them.
  5. Nothing New (by Ashlee Simpson) – Download this and listen to the lyrics.  It’s a woman’s casting off of a guy who she fights with over and over.  The last lyric, “I’m over the drama of you, there’s something new!
  6. Last Time I Cry (by Orfeh): This isn’t an angst-ridden song so much as it is a song to cry to when you’re trying to get over someone. (If you haven’t heard of Orfeh, check her out!  She is fantastic!)
  7. Never Again (by Kelly Clarkson) – for obvious reasons.  You’ve been betrayed and hurt by someone you trusted and you need to scream at them.  This song lets you get out the aggression in the privacy of your own living room so you don’t make a jackass out of yourself.