There’s a British YouTuber I like named Hannah Witton and today she posted a video about the benefits of porn. I was in a relationship once with a guy who had an addiction to porn (it is real, check out YouTuber Shan Boody’s video that explains what a porn addiction is). It screwed up our relationship royally. He was unable to get aroused because he watched too much porn, then he felt bad, then he watched more, then he felt bad again… etc. You get it.
Personally, I’m OK with porn and I’d totally be open to watching it with a partner, but porn caused him a whole bunch of shame. I didn’t get it. It’s porn! There’s ridiculous porn that sets unrealistic expectations for both men and women, but there’s porn out there that is more real. I was probably more disappointed than anything that he didn’t want to invite me into his viewing sessions. Oh well. His loss…?
But I think the shame that comes with an addiction to porn is a result of the shame that we place on those who watch porn. We refuse to think of it as an art form and call the people in the actors onscreen dirty sluts and whores. I’ve done it before. You know you’ve done it, too. We refuse to see the value in watching it so we write off the people who do find it valuable (if they can enjoy it in a healthy way and they’re not addicted).
I guess this is a really roundabout way of saying: Porn has it’s place and it’s time to stop shaming people who like it.
And on a not totally-unrelated aside, you should check out the musical “Pretty Filthy,” which is a docu-musical about porn stars in LA. It was off-Broadway a few years ago and it was pretty great and eye-opening.