Goodbye to you.

By “you,” I mean the birth control pill that I’ve been on since 2007. I thought it was a good thing to do since states keep passing laws like these (it’d never happen in NY, but who knows.) I’ve always remembered to take it within an hour time frame every day but I really just got tired of having to remember to take it. Also my monkeymind also liked to occasionally have my pondering whether or not I’d indeed remembered to take my pill that morning (I always had but that didn’t stop my mind from racing). I never lost them and never had any bad side effects (that I know of). But after that study came out about depression, and I’d had a couple of mood swings here or there (most of the time when I’ve had too much to drink so that might be the culprit), I decided to find out more bout IUD. 

I’m a creature of habit so it was a big decision for me, but I decided to do it and I did it on Monday. It took longer than usual and my cervix had to be clamped down three times, which is probably the most painful part. So: yay. They almost made me come back another day after having taken medication they sometimes prescribe to relax the cervix. (Note to anyone who’s getting this done: GET THE MEDS.) Whose cervix is actually relaxed when it’s being held down in place by a steel clamp?! Who are these people?? Next time, I’m just getting my tubes tied because for that procedure at least they put you under and you don’t feel anything. 

I decided to get Mirena because I felt like it was a good compromise between the hormone-heavy pill and the no-hormones-at-all Paragard IUD (which is said to have godawful side effects). I felt nauseous when I first sat up after it was in place. and crampy, so I laid down for 20 minutes and drank some water. I went home and took it easy for the rest of the day and didn’t feel any pain or cramping after the first few hours, and barely any bleeding at all.

I went back today for my sonogram to make sure it was staying in place and, luckily, it is. I couldn’t handle the idea of having another one inserted. I asked if I could have a print out of the sonogram, you know, similar to when they give pregnant women photos of their fetuses? But I think the technician thought I was joking because she didn’t print one out for me. 

I’m pretty sure most of the pain wasn’t actually as bad as I expected, but I’d been expecting pain akin to child birth, so maybe I’m just a big baby. If you get one, take your Advil and relax into it because tensing your body up just makes it take longer (believe me, I know). 

I can’t describe how happy I am not to be bothered with the pill anymore and still be baby-free, and for 5 years! Excuse me, but I’m going to go celebrate now. If you’re considering getting an IUD, let me know if you have questions!

Recovery

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I had my wisdom teeth out yesterday morning and have been watching Orange is the New Black ever since (after a three hour nap). Kristen is the best, as she picked up my medicated ass from the oral surgeon and escorted me home. 

I was about to do local anesthesia and not general because my insurance company wanted $165 for the general and while I was waiting for the local anesthesia, I said eff this and asked to be put under. I woke up later and we hopped in a cab home. I may or may not have almost gotten hit by a car a few times. 

Kristen escorted me to the market and I picked up all of the essentials: mac and cheese, soups, rice pudding, and ice cream. Super healthy. Kristen fed me some Advil and then I passed out for three hours. After Kristen headed up, I put on OITNB and rotated between ice cream and mac’n’cheese until I passed out again at midnight.

I don’t really have any pain in my mouth – it just feels weird from the stitches. Of course, I’m keeping on a steady stream of Advil too, so maybe that’s it. 

Tomorrow: An early afternoon showing of Jurassic World. I’m SO excited. I have these in my shopping cart on Amazon right now. I so want to buy them. 

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Update: I’ve bought them. I had a $5 credit too so the total came to a whopping $10.90.