bittersweet

I was reminded of my childhood yesterday when I went for a walk on some trails near where I grew up on Long Island. I ate a couple handfuls of these – both red and black – and they were delicious. I can’t for the life of me remember where I would find these berries, but I *think* they were in my parents’ yard.

I went “trailblazing” yesterday with a guy that I’ve known for several months now. We met on OkStupid when he popped up on my homescreen and I saw that he was from a town in my school district (and he was cute, and I didn’t recognize him! Score!). He graduated several years before I did but mentioned that his sisters were the year ahead of me and Did I Know Them? He told me their names and I yelped, “OMG, of course!” We were in the drama club together, and I immediately saw the resemblance (as they all look exactly alike). 

The unfortunate part is that his job keeps him traveling 75% of the year (I won’t go into details, but it’s legal, awesome, and involves a lot of traveling) so dating someone isn’t really possible. He told me this and we kept in touch anyways here and there. We both had very similar personalities – sarcastic and full of bad puns. We found ourselves on Long Island at the same time a couple of months ago and we met up at a local bar and immediately clicked. We talked for a few hours over Blue Moons, played darts, and it was awesome. We saw each other a few weeks later when he happened to be in the city (for work) and we split a couple of bottles of wine and some tasty noshes at The Bourgeois Pig and talked for hours again.

I was on Long Island this weekend for my best friend’s bridal shower and he happened to be as well (on Long Island, but not for a bridal shower). We grabbed a few drinks on Sunday night (this time I let him pick me up, where as the first time we met … hey, I’d never met him – in person – before, I wasn’t getting in his car!) and mentioned hanging out on Monday, so we grabbed lunch down Port, went for a quick tasting at the Port Jeff Brewing Company, went to the trails where the above berries were found (until we realized we were being eaten – literally – by mosquitoes), and to grab gargantuan-sized iced teas at Se-port (don’t ask – it was a thing in our high school that once you got your license, you went here for lunch. You just did).

But this relationship is just a friendship. And that’s fine. Occasionally we kiss, but that’s it. It can’t be anything more, and I keep re-iterating this to him, because we want completely opposite things. He wants, and I quote, “a bunch” of kids and a house in the suburbs near where he (we) grew up, while I’ll never leave New York City and I want as few children as possible (preferably keeping the number zero in mind as a goal). Other than that minor (hah!) conflict, he is absolutely great. Someone I’m close to told me, “Now don’t convince yourself you’re SO IN LOVE with him that you want kids,” no, that’d never happen. And love? Please. That’s not even on the table. For the first time, I think EVER, I’m totally realistic about what this (awesome friendship) is and keep myself in check.

Even though things can’t progress any further, at least I made a new friend. Hopefully we’ll be friends for a while, if only because we enjoy each others company so much. 

But, shit, sometimes the universe works in such frustrating ways, doesn’t it?

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Two People Who Deserve Shout-Outs.

You guys can all skip this post.  It’s probably going to be really boring.  You’ve been warned.  But I know two people that deserve major props.  One is a (newer) friend, while the other is a co-worker.

My friend was telling me the other day about his job when he first graduated college.  He was working in finance, making 6-figures, and he was completely miserable.  His boss disrespected him (apparently this happens more than most people know in that industry), the hours were awful, and when he got his first bonus check, the money didn’t make him as happy as he thought it would.  He left (after I’m not sure how long) and took a job that included a $100k+ pay cut, but he was happy.  He said his friends noticed how much happier of a person he’d become in the months after switching jobs.  I admire him for his courage to throw the paycheck to the wind and do what made him happy.  It makes me re-think my job and maybe taking (an inevitable) pay-cut and going back to the industry I love would be worth it.

The other person is a co-worker of mine.  She could never work a day in life and be set for life.  She could go shopping every day, returning to her Upper East Side apartment afterwards day-after-day.  But what does she do instead?  She’s a graduate of Harvard Business School, is raising a family, and works extremely hard running her own hedge fund.  I always wonder if I had a trust fund, or whatever, and didn’t have to work, would I still work anyway?  I think I’d probably do some charity work, but I have trouble believing I’d work full-time if I didn’t have to pay my rent.  For this, I think she is awesome.  Sometimes I think she should give motivational speeches to students.

Okay, this rant is over.  Proceed with your Wednesday nights!