A Laidback Easter

Since my brother wasn’t going to be home from school and most of my mother’s family is scattered now, my parents weren’t really doing Easter this year. I was okay with this as I’m seeing them next weekend for brunch for my birthday and my friend and her husband were throwing a Jesus-Free Brunch in their midtown apartment.

After a quick run & power walk at the gym, I showered and grabbed what is my favorite new coffee drink, Hungarian coffee, from The Hungarian Pastry Shop. This is a typical coffee with almond extract and whipped cream. I sat outside and read. It was gorgeous.

My friend’s brunch was awesome, tasty, with lots of amazing company. After we ate, her husband hid Easter eggs on their terrace (the building’s terrace, so it was a big space) and surprisingly it was kind of fun to race around and find them. They have quite the sense of humor so in some of the eggs were condoms and Easter-y notes.

After a yoga class, I’m home watching the rest of Bill Maher’s Religulous. The only and perfect way to end any holiday. 

For more festive ways to celebrate the last hours of this holiday, you can read about the Pagan roots of Easter here. And incase you’ve watched “Going Clear” recently (the documentary about Scientology) and find yourself saying, “that’s insane!!” you should probably read this article by Neil deGrasse Tyson where he makes a completely rational comparison when he says that you can’t laugh at Scientology if you believe in the Christian story of Jesus

Faith means making a virtue out of not thinking.” – Bill Maher

I went to see Bill Maher’s Religulous on a first date back in fall 2008 when it came out.  We were both atheists (or agnostics) and we both laughed the entire way through it.  Religulous is what everyone should be watching today to learn how to turn their minds back on and think logically again.  Rapture?  What rapture?  Yeah, nothing’s happened and I’m pretty certain nothing will happen.  

I can’t wait for all of the religious nuts out in Times Square to start backtracking and saying that we got the date wrong, and that it’s actually next Thursday!… or whatever.  I might go there tonight after a few drinks out for a friend’s birthday on Eighth Avenue.  I was told yesterday that they’ve gotten this date wrong many, many times.  So, why are rational, educated human beings still buying into this complete bullshit?  Some people say that they hate Maher because he’s too mean and not funny anymore, but he has every right to be crossing that “too mean”-line when evangelicals are running our government.  

Personally I think you should have to be an atheist (or an agnostic) to run for any office. This way we know the candidate is thinking with their mind, and that their head isn’t filled with lies from a made up book of fairy tales.

Now, please, go and get wasted on this beautiful day of Rapture made up by the crazies of this world!  Or… at the very least, you should be listening the cast recording of Sherie Rene Scott’s Everyday Rapture.  I leave you with one question, awesome people who read my ramblings: Why are you religious?  I’m not going to comment or offer rebuttal, I just want to read your thoughts.

Bill Maher’s New Rules for Emmy’s

New Rule: You don’t need to say you “want to thank.” Just thank. 

New Rule:
 If you’re going to hold the Emmys in August, the participants get to wear cut-offs and flip-flops. It’s so hot this year, the white powder being used in the restrooms is talcum.

New Rule: Please spare me the 40-minute dissertation on how fabulous “Glee” is. It’s 2010. You can just come right out and say you’re gay.

New Rule: If by some remote chance God does exist, he must smite anyone who thanks him at the Emmys. Seriously, you’ve just impressed a bunch of atheists, Jews, drug addicts and homosexuals, and they like you enough to have given you a golden idol. God doesn’t want your thanks — he wants an apology.

New Rule: Don’t have the Old Spice guy parade shirtless across the stage at the Emmys. I know it seems very “now.” But in two years people will look back and think, “That’s the worst Alvin Ailey performance I’ve ever seen.”

New Rule:
 You don’t need to stand outside the Emmys with a sign I can see from my car that says “God Hates You.” I’m wearing a tuxedo in the afternoon, it’s 100 degrees, and I’m about to spend three hours at an awards show. I know God hates me.

New Rule: Emmy hosts can’t make jokes about how long the show is. It just makes the show longer. 

New Rule: Save your applause for the end of the dead-people package. No matter how much you think you love the dead people at the beginning, you’re going to love the dead people at the end even more. 

New Rule: Stop saying, “It’s an honor just to be nominated.” That’s only true the first 23 times. After that, it starts to feel more like hazing. 

New Rule:
 There’s no such thing as an “outstanding reality competition program.

Bill Maher has been nominated for 26 Emmys, including four this year for his HBO late-night series “Real Time With Bill Maher” and his stand-up special, “Bill Maher … But I’m Not Wrong.” 

(via laurahunter)

Bill Maher’s New Rules for Emmy’s