That Job Offer I Declined

You know those job offers that you regret declining? This isn’t one of those jobs.

Back when I started teacher training, I was still a little bit in the mindset of “OMG NEED JOB STAT.” Meaning, I thought I’d need to have a job lined up when training was over, no matter what it was. So, I applied to a couple of jobs here and there.

I went on one interview for an entertainment(ish) company that was located in LIC. That was mistake #1. I shouldn’t have applied to a company in Queens. What was I thinking? I wasn’t. I was feeling desperate and like my options were scarce. 

It was a new position that was being created because their finance department was growing into a full time position (as opposed to one part time person). I listened as the executive spoke and he was a nice guy. The offices were very nice, but I left feeling like it wasn’t for me. He said they’d be making a decision by the end of the week. This also made me nervous. I immediately went online and started looking at other job postings. I had to know what else was out there. There was lots. And a lot of other positions called to me much more than the one that I was likely going to be offered.

I didn’t need to wait for Friday because I was offered the job the next day via email. When the offer letter came, I was excited by the salary but that’s about all. I had interviewed for one job and the offer letter came back with an entirely DIFFERENT job than the one that I’d interviewed for. I took the weekend to “think it over” and then declined on Sunday evening. The executive came back to me and said they’d offer me health insurance, too.

Uh, WHAT? You wanted me to run finance and HR and you weren’t going to give me health insurance from the get go? I said no, for a second time, and that was that. I wanted to say, “Are you fucking insane? Not only is it illegal, but how could you possibly even think that hiring someone full time and not giving them health benefits is RIGHT?” But I didn’t want to engage, so I didn’t say anything. 

Thinking about having to start that job next Monday gives me hives. I’m glad I turned it down. When I find the right gig, I’ll know. And they’ll probably offer health insurance from the get-go. 

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I haven’t written very much in the past month because I’ve been in my yoga teacher training intensive which means I was busy from 9am until 6pm, Monday through Friday, then another hour or so for my commute each way to and from SoHo, so between the actual class and the homework, I had zero time to write.

But it was a transformative experience. It really was. The week before the training started when I saw my kundalini teacher for the last time, she told me I’d have a transformative experience and she wasn’t lying. I truly did. We all did. Every single person in the training with me is going to be a friend for the rest of my life. There were so many tears during our closing ceremonies. 

Today felt like the first day of the rest of my new life. It sounds so cliche but I’m just free writing right now to break the silence on here. I’m not sure what exactly I want to do next, but I know that applying for every-and-any job is no longer a good option. I have savings and I don’t spend a lot, so I can take my time. I’ll teach where and when possible. I have insurance, albeit not very good insurance, but insurance nevertheless. (At least until the ACA is repealed!)

Fear can fuck off for once. I’m going to try this my way. 

Just couldn’t.

I’d been temping as a bookkeeper at an event planning agency for the last (almost) two months in midtown and on Friday, that time came to an end. I was placed here by a staffing agency and the company was sold me as a marketing agency but it very much isn’t. I realized that when I sat down to review budgets my first week and saw that every other event was a wedding. And not just a wedding, a $1 million+ wedding.

I know: people are free to spend their money as they see fit. Fine. But I can’t wrap my mind around how some people spend more on a single day than most people make in a year (or ten years). Some were on far-away private islands. Some used private jets to get there. Others purchased iPads for all of their 200 guests. Yeah, it was those kinds of weddings. The “My Super Sweet 16″ of weddings.

Maybe I couldn’t stomach it because I’d love a courthouse wedding, with chicken wings and beer at a bar alongside friends and family afterwards, while wearing a cream dress that somewhat resembles a nightgown. Who knows.

I also learned that I’m not really good with hospitality. You know: pandering to the 1% of the population who think they’re special because of their upbringing or what the number in their bank account reads. This is partially why I’ve always liked bookkeeping/finance/accounting.
You get to be on the back end of the company and you don’t have to
bullshit with clients all day. My inability to be hospitable is important because I also did the bookkeeping for the child company of the larger company which sells mixers for margaritas and bloody mary’s, among other things. When I said I was sending out emails to stores who were delinquent in their payments (I’m talking about 3+ months), the other girl who works on the company immediately sought me out after the first one went out and asked me to, maybe, be a little softer. My initial reaction: Um, what? Why? They’re 3+ months overdue on a $70 bill. They need to get their shit together and pay us.

So: hospitality isn’t for me and I’m glad I learned that.

I digress.

Around the holidays, I’d sent out a few resumes because I was afraid they a) weren’t going to hire me full time (that was the plan) and I’d be jobless, or b) they would hire me full time and I’d have to do bookkeeping for the 1%’s ridiculously extravagant events for the rest of my life (#dramatic).

Believe me, I see the paradox there, too. I want a job, but I don’t want that job.

I was also bored as fuck, after only two months. Don’t get me wrong, the people I was working with were lovely and my boss was fantastic. It just wasn’t the right place. Luckily, an opportunity to work at a start-up that really excited me came up last week and I couldn’t say no, so I didn’t. This opportunity came along just after I’d convinced myself that the current role would be fine for now. I’d gotten over the initial disappoint of being at a place that plans million-dollar weddings. The flattering thing was that when I told my boss, she asked if she could make a counter offer. I politely-as-possible declined though. 

Anywho: I’ll be doing HR and operations (what I wanted to segue my career back into anyhow) with a dozen or so awesome, passionate people (including a good friend of mine).

I’m excited and I’m leaving the old job in great shape, better than it was in when I came along. I guess that’s all they can ask for. I’m really grateful for the opportunity to continue to refine my bookkeeping and people-managing skills at this company, though and not be broke during the holidays. That was cool too.

On/Up.