What the Fuck, Disney.

After a full day at work, and my yoga class, I wanted nothing more than to veg out with my sweet potato pasta dish and my cats. I clicked on HBO Go and started scrolling through movies. One of the first three movies to come up, since it’s alphabetical with numbers first, was 101 Dalmatians, the real-life version made by Disney years ago. I thought, “Oh, puppies! And Natasha Richardson!.. RIP.” (Yeah, I know, it’s her sister Joely, not her.)

Anyways, I started watching it and it’s cute and adorable and OMG!Puppies! and Playbill (on the right) is clearly enjoying it, too. Then it gets to the basic plot. Cruella DeVil wants to make a dress out of the fur of dalmatian puppies. This means she has to capture, kill, and skin a lot of them. She’s already done this to a rare white tiger in the beginning of the movie, which is bad enough. But now: PUPPIES?

Jesus H. Christ on a Cracker: What the fuck, Disney? Who decided that this was a good idea for a children’s movie? Steal the puppies to sell them on the black market as pets? OK. Maybe. But steal them so she can make a piece of clothing out of them? Fuck no. This movie is not appropriate for children. It’s not even appropriate for me. The thought of any animal dying so someone can wear it is disgusting so the thought of inflicting it on children makes me cringe.

No, Disney. Nice try, but fuck off. /End Rant

The Disney Treatment

You always say after you’ve done it once (or twice) that never again, no long distance relationships. Until you meet someone who takes your breath away and you don’t even want to look at anyone else, not to mention speak or go on a date with them. Well, for the foreseeable future, my boyfriend and I are in this predicament and we’re making the best of it. All I can say? Thank goodness for Skype and Facetime. I digress: he works for Disney in Florida and I went down last Wednesday to see him and be his date to one of his friend’s wedding, among other things. “Among other things” being The Disney Treatment.

I haven’t been to Disney World since i was 15 and before I met my boyfriend, I had no future plans to go back. Going there as an adult was a totally different experience than going there as a kid. 

When I flew in on Wednesday we headed straight to Raglan Road Irish Pub at Downtown Disney. There was a proper Irish band playing we feasted on ridiculously good nachos (yes, nachos at an Irish pub) and beers with Kristen and her husband, who also happened to be down at Disney. 

On Thursday it rained and was pretty cold out, so we headed back to Downtown Disney and went to see Frozen. My boyfriend had seen it twice before but I’d yet to see it (I know, I know). I loved it, especially with all of the theatre folk providing vocals. We changed and headed to Artist Point at the Wilderness Lodge for noms and wine, which were both delicious, before heading to the Magic Kingdom for the Electric Light Parade, fireworks, and “Celebrate the Magic” which is an awesome show projected on the castle. I was looking forward to see Tinkerbell flying off the top of the castle. 

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We had a wedding to go to on Friday, so on Saturday we headed straight to the Animal Kingdom and Epcot. We had lunch at Spice Road Table at Epcot, a delicious tapas place. I personally enjoyed Epcot the most of any of the parks. We walked around the countries and saw the 2 hour line to meet Elsa and Ana in Norway. After a break to grab diner at Boma: Flavors of Africa in the Animal Kingdom Lodge, we headed back to Epcot to drink La Vie En Rose boozy slushies in France and watch Illuminations, the light and fireworks show at Epcot. We were pretty exhausted so we headed back and watched part of Tangled until we fell asleep. 

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Sunday was a big day in Disney World history that my dude, and all of his friends, were buzzing with excitement about. For the first time in over twelve years, there was a new Main Street parade debuting, Festival of Fantasy, featuring the biggest, most intricate float ever to roll out at the Magic Kingdom. It was a pretty great parade, and it was definitely a different experience to watch a brand new parade with a dozen cast members who knew every third person in the parade. 

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I was given strict instructions that I definitely needed to eat a Mickey Bar while i was there. 

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We checked out the Grand Floridian after so I could see it and also to print my boarding pass before grabbing dinner at Celebration Town Tavern in Celebration, which is a pristine, beautiful little town straight out of the movie Pleasantville.

I boarded a late flight that landed at JFK around midnight. Suffice it to say: I definitely got The Disney Treatment. I also got schooled on the recent Disney movies. My favorite parts of Disney, as an adult, are the ones where I don’t have to spend 45 minutes waiting in line for a five minute ride that I’ve already been on, because as I’ve gotten older, I’ve also lost almost every bit of patience I have. So, bring it on Epcot, I can eat and drink my way around you all day. 

Overall: A great trip.

The dude and I, and some Disney topiaries.