After one of my yoga teachers told us the best mantra (above) ever, I asked the art director at my office if he could do up a little something in handwriting that he’s known for. He came up with this and told me what his favorite smoothie at Juice Generation was. 

I’m going to get this printed and maybe hang it everywhere

Subtle Shifts in 42 Days

After reading Gabrielle Bernstein’s first two books, I ordered her latest, May Cause Miracles. I finished the 42nd day this morning and I’m in love with her way of thinking.

I know there’s a chance it could be a load of bullshit, but it’s helping me in small ways: I’m not feeding into people’s anger, or stress, and I’m learning forgiveness (of myself and others). And I’m not hurting anyone else, so who cares?

It’s been rather pleasant to wake up, read that day’s morning chapter, set my affirmation on my phone, then meditate. I’ve been feeling really serene after my morning meditations recently and it’s nice. I wish I could convince everyone I know to meditate, but there will always be skeptics or people who are just too stubborn to stop themselves for 10 minutes a day to slow down and just breathe.

Earlier this week a guy I’d once dated told me he was dating someone knew. I almost switched into victim-mode with “why is everyone in a relationship but me?!” but I witnessed this bullshit, emailed a friend who confirmed that it was bullshit, and then picked up May Cause Miracles before going to sleep. Noticing my bullshit coming up was huge for me. 

Her teachings are very similar to Eckhart Tolle’s because they both urge disassociation from the ego. I recently had a conversation with a friend who thinks that that the ego is your sense of self-esteem. This, in my opinion (and many others’ opinions), is false. A friend explained it to me like this: Your self esteem is your self worth, and your ego is all the labels that you can use to identify yourself and project onto the outside world. I think of the ego also as the way you use external affirmations to derive your self-worth (which of course is bullshit because happiness comes from within). 

The aforementioned friend thinks that not having an ego means not having an identity and he is skeptical of anyone who is anti-ego. What do you guys think?

Gabrielle Bernstein is giving a lecture at the end of July at NYU. My ticket is purchased and I’ve even convinced one of my good, semi-cynical guy friends (who is currently reading Spirit Junkie!) to come with me. 

So, ego vs. self esteem? Is there a difference?

The Ego & the Dance Class

I took dance classes through out most of grade school. Tap, ballet, and jazz. I liked ballet the most, but I was never that graceful (and I’m still not). And that’s fine. I can dance freestyle in a bar, so I thought I’d have l least some skills in a traditional dance class… because I was never that awful in grade school in my jazz classes. 

Last Monday, the company I work for paid for a theatre dance class for anyone who was interested in taking it. I thought it seemed fun and I signed up. I was discouraged when I’d forgotten my old ballet shoes, but I forged ahead in socks (I would’ve danced barefoot, but the floors seemed a bit splintery).

The warm up was just fine, but as soon as we started learning a quick two-minute routine to The Wiz’s “Ease on Down the Road” and everything went to shit.

Like, total, absolute shit. I had no idea that I was so uncoordinated. Yes, we were being taught the steps in a much quicker fashion than if this was a year-long class preparing for an end-of-the-year recital, but still: goddamn.

I almost walked out in the middle. I almost said screw it and went to my usual yoga class. But I didn’t. I stayed and embarrassed myself. Though I don’t know that anyone was watching because I know that I sure as hell was watching the best person in the group when we were split into two group, not the worst. 

I realized that I take myself way too seriously. I couldn’t just enjoy the (free) class and laugh at myself in this instance. This isn’t the worst thing in the world because I often make jokes at my own expense, but I just felt like a jackass because I had higher expectations, I suppose.

If I really wanted to, I could blame it on not wearing the proper shoes. That very well could’ve been it. Or it’s just the fact that I can’t dance anymore! Ten years out of the saddle might do that to someone.

That said: I’m not taking another dance class, ever. I’ll stick to yoga, thankyouverymuch.