Don’t Yuck My Yum

The eclipse was this week – on Monday. I woke up as a skeptic. I didn’t have the glasses and I was like, “Whatever, don’t really care that much.” Then it started happening and a colleague of mine had a pair of glasses and we looked out the window and up towards the sky and saw it. And you know what? It was actually pretty cool and I was glad I got out of my own way and saw it. Was it a little anticlimactic once it was over in New York? Sure. But I was still glad I saw it.

My good vibes were then rained on when I asked a friend on Gchat if he’d seen it. He replied “no, but Trump did,” and sent me a link to an article about Trump being dumb and looking without the glasses. At that moment, I probably interpreted it as him comparing me to Trump, but in retrospect, I don’t think he was. I think he was just being himself – refusing to do whatever else is doing, even if it is cool, because it makes him feel good to be above things that a lot of people find cool. Or his office has no windows and his colleagues had no glasses. I don’t know. I didn’t ask because I was pissed at him for shitting on my parade. But truth be told, I let him.

Later on another friend posted on Facebook, a sarcastic, also debbie downer, comment about the eclipse. Jesus fucking christ, people. If you don’t want to look, don’t look. No need to be a complete twat about it when other people are enjoying it. Upon reflection, she, too, was probably just looking to make a joke and get lots of likes. No harm. I guess?

But it’s a weird week and people are feeling weird. I’m going to blame it on the eclipse, Mercury being in retrograde (that fucker), and the fact that the end of summer can be a downer sometimes (I guess, though I wouldn’t know as I’m one of those people who can NOT wait for fall). My yoga class on Monday was incredibly grounding and restorative. Exactly what we all needed.

But my reaction to my friends’ negative eclipse commentaries made me think about how I make jokes that could be interpreted as negative about things that people often enjoy. I don’t want to be that person. And maybe I should re-think some of my friendships as well. Because shouldn’t you be friends with people who make you feel good?

Happy eclipse week!

The above photo is from Monday night. It’s a partial eclipse of Gus. 

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New Year’s Things

I just did 5 yoga classes in 3 days. I am sore and took today, Friday, off. I’m going in for one more class before the final holiday of the year tomorrow morning, which should kill me. My knee is acting up but I think it’s strained from overdoing it in King Arthur pose on Wednesday night so I’ll have to go easier.

I was thinking about New Year’s resolutions and I didn’t know what they should be. J said that because I’m doing yoga teacher training, and that’s a big commitment, that I should basically be absolved from making other ones, but I still wanted to think of something. Here’s what I came up with:

  1. Volunteer more – this will likely be in the realm of volunteering with cats, something I’m already doing, but let’s do it some more, shall we?
  2. Go on Facebook less – like 15 minutes a day or less. If I have a question about something, I’ll just have to Google it or reach out to actual human people I know. Facebook is a super fucking waste of time and it makes people depressed, so let’s cut it out. 
  3. Read – I read 14 or 15 books this year. Let’s do it again in 2017. Or make it 20. Why not.
  4. Be healthier – Cook more, eat out less. Get back to drinking once or twice a week and no more. Basically try to feel good. 
  5. Make a vision board – I keep meaning to and then I’m like, “Ooh, NVM, let’s watch My Cat From Hell…”
  6. Figure out what I want to do – I don’t think a 9-5 desk job is for me (unfortunately) so I need to figure out WTF I want to do instead. 
  7. Rock teacher training – Duh. Maybe I’ll be able to master a headstand, too, finally. But hey, just because someone can do a handstand doesn’t mean they’re a good teacher.
  8. Watch less Netflix – This goes for HBO Go and Amazon Prime too. I want to watch less TV so I can read more. 
  9. Be more patient – with my partner, my friends, family, and especially strangers. I currently have no patience, so cultivating any patience would be a miracle. 
  10. Be less judgmental – I would like to look at someone that I’ve never met and not make 10 assumptions about them based on what they look like or what they’re doing. 
  11. Travel Somewhere New: One new city in America (we’re planning on Denver, at the very least) and three new cities in Europe (ideas that have been thrown around: Reykjavik, Dublin, Edinburgh, London, Budapest, Bucharest, or wherever they film the Bond movies in Croatia).

I think that’s good for now. What are your resolutions? 

Ixnay on the Facebook-ay

I blocked a bunch of sites on my work laptop for the first time in two weeks and I have to say: I had such a better day when I wasn’t going on Facebook once (or five, who are we kidding?) an hour. All you do is read about the election, people fighting on their comment statuses about said-election, or people posting stupid shit that has nothing to do with anything and that interests exactly zero people on the internet. It’s such toxic shit. 

I signed on via Safari on my phone twice during the day and that was more than enough. During the day I’ve been sticking to Gothamist, The New York Times Real Estate section, and Curbed.

Facebook is great for networking but it sucks for your state of mind

Look, I know.

I know the convention is this week. I know it’s going to be a shitshow and I know Trump is the biggest, most bloated and asinine waste of human life since Hitler. I know all of this and yet I still think I’m going to stay off Facebook while this Cleveland rodeo is burning down everyone’s dreams of sanity. 

My Facebook feed is one meme after another trying to show off how much they hate Trump and how stupid he is. We all already know this. If you don’t, there’s no longer hope for you, as far as I’m concerned and I’m not wasting my precious time concerned with you. I’m not trying to change anyone’s minds. Clinton is super qualified to be president of the United States, but I would’ve rather been given the chance to vote for Bernie. Will I not vote in November? Nah, I’ll go and cast my pointless vote (for Clinton, and pointless because, come on, this is New York) and hope for a better candidate next time around and that we don’t get fucked with a Trump presidency.

I’m taking a break from Gawker, too, because it’s all so negative, just like my Facebook feed. I haven’t been reading Gawker regularly since I restricted my internet access during the day and I haven’t missed anything important. I don’t need updates on the candidates every move. I won’t even pay attention to the Democratic Convention because unless Clinton starts killing kittens, she has my vote.

A quite frankly, I don’t give a shit who can out-hate whom on Trump. 

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Seen/By Everyone @ HERE 

Last weekend I was invited to see Seen/By Everyone at HERE down in SoHo. It was created and produced by the ensemble company of Five on a Match. Five on a Match is a collective making art that explores what it means to be a human being in the 21st century. 

The collective writes in the program that they did not “write” the show, they “collaged” it. They pulled from various forms of social media – I’d assume Facebook, Twitter, etc. – and created new characters that are not based on any one single person. The play was 80 minutes of vignettes of how people exist in the world when they post every second of their life to the internet. How they grieve; how they express happiness. 

Although it was a little hard to follow at times, it’s very avantgarde which is always fun and a change from the usual breed of standard straight plays. 

If you’re looking for something a little bit off the beaten path, Seen/By Everyone is your play. 

Self Control-ish

I’ve been making mistakes here and there at work lately. 

Ever since I took on recruiting for my company, it’s been a huge time suck. I love doing it, but it’s taken away a lot of my attention from other aspects of my job. No mistakes have been huge or unfixable but still annoying. 

You know what else is a huge time suck? Social media. 

So, what did I do today? I downloaded the app “SelfControl” and blocked Facebook, Tumblr, Gawker, BroadwayWorld (those boards are like a never-ending hole of insanity), and I’ll probably block Curbed tomorrow, too. 

And you know what? It worked. I didn’t miss Facebook at all because it’s just become a place to a) feel bad about your life, or b) a place to be an asshole and bitch about stuff. And my Tumblr feed has become insanely boring. 

Here’s hoping I can continue down this path of No Distractions. 

Unfriended

Facebook is a tricky mistress. You love it, you hate it. You can’t live with it, you can’t live without it. Blah. But what happens when you end a friendship with someone but are still friends with, uh….. their entire family? 

That was what happened with someone I used to be friends with and I finally rectified the situation last week. It was “hard.” I put that in quotes because in reality, it’s nothing more than clicking a button, but whatever. I was completely cutting myself off from people, who despite being really incredibly lovely, I really shouldn’t have contact with anymore. Because it felt weird to still be in contact with his mother, sister, brother-in-law, and cousins when I was no longer friends with the person who was my main connection to them.

Should it have been weird? I don’t know. I guess it was more out of common decency (?). It’s not like we’re ever going to hang out again, so what’s the difference?

I clicked the button and it was like pulling off a band-aid. Except a bit sadder. 

Onwards/Upwards. 

Rant: Count Me Out

There’s so much vitriol on Facebook during the presidential campaign this year, and also much reflexive meme re-posting (it’s all my family does, sigh). I’m not even talking about between parties – I’m talking about between Bernie and Hillary fans. It’s sick and I’m over it. I want none of it. Count me out. Who are we kidding, I will vote for whoever is running for the Democrats in the end.

After taking Facebook off my phone, I started posting a lot less. Do I still post too much? Probably. But not as much as I used to – also, yes, I was totally a reflexive-reposter, which was so stupid, and I’m trying not to do this anymore. 

I’ve had to unsubscribe from some acquaintance’s feeds because of all the anti-Sanders shit they’re posting. Sanders keeps saying he’s running a campaign based on the issues, not on personal attacks, and I wish Hillary groupies would do the same. I’m almost 100% sure I’ve posted at least a few things that are ‘Bernie yay, Hillary nay,’ but I’m trying to tone it down and knock it off. I refuse to post memes about who’s more pro-choice or more pro-woman. They’re Democrats, they’re all going to be pro-choice to the extent that they don’t want to reverse Roe V. Wade and blame it on Jesus.

The cyborgs running for the Republican party are a bunch of assfaced clowns who aren’t worth exerting the effort that I’m using to type this, so I’m not even concerned with stating why I don’t like them. Especially on Facebook. It’s obvious. The worst thing about Ted Cruz, besides being a sociopath, is that he makes Trump look not so bad. Because let’s face it, Trump isn’t a real Republican.

I might install a widget on my computer at my new job that doesn’t enable me to access Facebook between 10am-6pm. Facebook has become a place to brag and a place to spew bullshit. And post photos. I’m just a little bit over it.

A Break (Sort Of)

A few weeks ago some of my family members were basically having a discussion in the comments section of one of my posts on Facebook. They were both in the same place at that time so between twenty to fifty feet away from each other. They were home and choosing to debate something on my Wall. instead of in person. Back and forth, back and forth. 

That’s it. I need to disconnect, I thought. Even if it was just in the tiniest way possible.

Live and let live, I suppose, just not on my wall, please. I decided that night that I did not want to do this. My dude is, luckily, not on Facebook, or any social media. He loves not knowing what people are up to unless he actually talks to them. i think that idea sounds astonishingly neat. And such a simple thing to obtain! I have this blog, and an Instagram account (and Twitter, which I really never use anymore), so it’s not as though I wouldn’t have an outlet at all. For the most part I simply wouldn’t be giving people an outlet to speak their minds under my name (on my Wall).

I was also, in part, impressed by that chick Essena O’Neil, who said she was breaking her addiction to social media after earning quite a good living while modeling from it. I’m a tad bit confused about how she’s going about quitting social media because isn’t a blog sort-of social media? But that’s another conversation.

I realized I was getting a little too into how many likes my link posts and political ramblings were getting. They were often critical, and even more often knee-jerk reactions. I think that passion would be better redirected to this spot. At the very least it would at least have to be more thorough and thought out. 

So, on my train back to the city, I finally took one little step towards disconnecting and I deleted the Facebook app off my iPhone. For the rest of the train ride, I couldn’t mindlessly scroll through my feed and I read my book (The Knockoff, loving it!). 

I just want to experience that thrill of sitting down with a friend and having them tell me what’s going on in their life and not already knowing all of it because we’re Facebook friends and I checked their feed on the way to brunch. And it’s also a major time suck. 

My “Wall” will never, ever be a primary form of communication with family, or friends, or anyone. It’s not as though I deactivated my Facebook, but this was one little tiny step towards disconnecting and it felt good. 

De-friended

Two weeks ago I met up for tea at Sanctuary Tea with a dude who I’d met on Happn. It was the first and (still) the only dude I’d met up with but we cut past the bullshit right away, didn’t text for days, and just met. He was really cool – but sort of an oversharer in a way that makes you nervous. But also kind of like ‘okay, cool, he’s down for being vulnerable,’ which is not something a lot of people can do nowadays. He told me was OCD, especially when it came to cleaning.

We went out again last week, this time for drinks at a pub in midtown under the building in which he works that I was also very familiar with (thank you theatre industry jobs). Again, we had fun and he overshared a lot again. Trying to compete with his level of oversharing was difficult. I felt like I wasn’t saying enough. Turns out he was also sort of an internet celeb last year for an online dating experiment of sorts. And by “internet celeb,” I mean all of the commenters on Jezebel wished death to him. Whatever, haters gonna hate. I friended him on FB after that day (or maybe before, I don’t remember) and before that date was over, we scheduled our third date. 

He ended up having to cancel it the day before due to family stuff and got very weird in his texting and then disappeared. I’m pretty sure he was slightly bi-polar. We were still friends on FB though so last night, after having a couple of frozen margaritas for my birthday, I de-friended him. 

He’ll probably text me in a few days and be like, “wtf, man?” But guess what: I don’t care