This:

I’ve heard the quote, “A friendship that can end never really began.” And I think it’s pretty much bullshit. New York City is a helluva town, but it also has a helluva lot of people. I’ve run into people who I’ve been friends with and dated who I thought I’d never run into them again after we severed ties. Nope, not the case. You will definitely (probably) run into them.

On the train down to the Heart Like a Hand Grenade screening, I got on the train and looked down the car for a seat and saw a former good friend’s ladyfriend who I’d met all of twice. Astonished (because as far as I knew, they don’t leave Brooklyn), I opened my book and just began to read for the three stops that I was on the train.

I’d met my friend on OkCupid, went out on dates with for a month, and then eventually over the next couple of months we transitioned into being friends. For me, he just drank too much. We didn’t do anything that wasn’t at a bar. But he was kind of fun to hang out with when I wouldn’t be required to kiss him. We spent a lot of time together as friends over the next couple of years and I even became close with his family (I still think his mother is so cool). He’d confided in me a couple of times that yes, he might have a drinking problem and he knew that I had a friend in AA so he wanted to know more information. He never went through with it. Then he started manically dating and after he unofficially had the aforementioned ladyfriend move in after (max) 4 weeks, I severed this relationship. I didn’t agree with his choices and since you can’t change people, I thought it was best not to have this person in my life. Maybe I was wrong to do this. Maybe I wrong in my opinion. Our friendship wasn’t fun anymore though, so it was time to let it go.

Not all friendships are meant to last forever. This was something that took me a while to fully grasp. The memories are still there and they’re still good. Seeing her on the train was a reason to remember the good times that I’d had with him. Without that unexpected reminder though, I was forgetting. But maybe that’s a good thing. I don’t need to remember anymore. 

Maybe it’s time to remember to learn to forget. 

Yesterday I had some friends over, like I did on my birthday. Except we utilized my roof this time. It was really sunny and hot, then the sun went down and it was perfect. We had Shocktop, Goose Island, UFO, Coors Light, Brooklyn Lager, white wine, red wine, tequila, rum, seltzer, and lots of food. The fourteen or so of us managed to somehow drink all of the beer. 

There was lots of food, too, including prosciutto wrapped figs by Kristen and pesto crostinis made by me. I also bought cupcakes from Molly’s Cupcakes. I totally forgot about them for a few hours and then ran downstairs to get them when everyone asked why I was holding out on them. 

After it was late, we re-located to my apartment and at 12:30am the last person left.

Also: almost everyone wore black. Because this is New York. 

A Laidback Easter

Since my brother wasn’t going to be home from school and most of my mother’s family is scattered now, my parents weren’t really doing Easter this year. I was okay with this as I’m seeing them next weekend for brunch for my birthday and my friend and her husband were throwing a Jesus-Free Brunch in their midtown apartment.

After a quick run & power walk at the gym, I showered and grabbed what is my favorite new coffee drink, Hungarian coffee, from The Hungarian Pastry Shop. This is a typical coffee with almond extract and whipped cream. I sat outside and read. It was gorgeous.

My friend’s brunch was awesome, tasty, with lots of amazing company. After we ate, her husband hid Easter eggs on their terrace (the building’s terrace, so it was a big space) and surprisingly it was kind of fun to race around and find them. They have quite the sense of humor so in some of the eggs were condoms and Easter-y notes.

After a yoga class, I’m home watching the rest of Bill Maher’s Religulous. The only and perfect way to end any holiday. 

For more festive ways to celebrate the last hours of this holiday, you can read about the Pagan roots of Easter here. And incase you’ve watched “Going Clear” recently (the documentary about Scientology) and find yourself saying, “that’s insane!!” you should probably read this article by Neil deGrasse Tyson where he makes a completely rational comparison when he says that you can’t laugh at Scientology if you believe in the Christian story of Jesus

My weekend in food, in no particular order of awesomeness

  • After an ass-kicking vinyasa class, I grabbed brunch with Ben at Harlem Food Bar on 114th and Frederick Douglas. It was awesome. The food was amazing (I had the bacon/blue cheese/apple salad, and Ben had the burger and sweet potato fries), the prices pretty moderate, and the staff was SO nice. Our waiter saw that Ben didn’t have a case on his iPhone and felt compelled to bring over his super-cracked iPhone to show him what might happen if he didn’t get a case. Not pictured are the fried mac’n’cheese balls which were also amazing (just not photogenic). 
  • On Saturday night, I went to Forlini’s, an old school Italian restaurant in Chinatown, for a jovial gathering of Coach’s (aka Matt) friends for his 32nd birthday. I had the chicken parmesan. It was delicious.
  • Today I went going to my best friend and her husband’s apartment in Forest Hills to binge-watch more of season 5 of The Walking Dead. I knew we’d be ordering Chinese food for lunch so I brought dessert from Levain Bakery. I brought two chocolate chip-walnut cookies, one dark chocolate/peanut butter cookie, and a chocolate chip brioche. They were, of course, delicious.
  • The aforementioned Chinese food. When my friends order Chinese food for delivery, they like to order a selection and lots of extra. Fifty dollars later, we had quite the selection of entrees, soups,  and rices. To give you some perspective of how much there was, they included 8 forks in the bag. They thought we ordered enough for 8 people. Yes, we felt fat. (In our defense though, we had LOTS of leftovers.)

Sometimes Ben Folds just has a night off.

Hence why he played in a small-ish concert hall in Westbury on Long Island last night. No, really, he had a night off from playing with the symphony orchestra that he’s been touring with and said, “why not!" 

A couple of friends and I had bought tickets for this concert a couple of months ago (they live on LI so it was super convenient for them) and the day finally came yesterday and we were all excited. 

It was just him and his piano on stage, and us on the floor (and some were in seats). He played a lot of really old songs from albums that came out in like, 1993. He also played the always-awesome-live Song For The Dumped, The Luckiest, One Angry Dwarf and 200 Solemn Faces, Narcolepsy, Jesusland, Zac and Sara, You Don’t Know Me, and Army. He also played his own drum solo (pictured above) during a song I can’t remember and it was amazing. We’ve all seen him play the piano like a boss, but he can also beat the shit out of a set of drums like no one’s business.

It was awesome. After a little over two hours, he left the stage and I caught a train and was back in the city 40 minutes later. Easy as shit. 

Ben Folds, you keep being awesome. Because it’s really fun to watch. 

Spiraling

I had two very wise people reinforce to me yesterday that when someone close to you is spiraling (addiction, codependence, etc.) the best thing – the only thing – you can do is let them spiral and hopefully they’ll hit the bottom and start to work things out. If not you go through life feeling like an enabler if you condone their behavior or they’ll be mad at you all the time for “shitting” on their dreams and happiness.

A friend once came to me for help because he thought he was an alcoholic (I 100% agreed). I referred him to another friend who’d been through (and is still going through) the sobering up after bottoming out and after one conversation he thought the whole AA thing was “weird” and asked that I never mention it again. He’s never gotten help and his behavior has only gotten more manic.

If I say anything, I’m being a “debbie downer” but I feel like I’m being super judgmental (in my own head) watching him continue on this path. I don’t like feeling like that and I’m not like that with any of my other friends. So, he’s a good friend, but I’m going to try to detach from him for a bit and let him do his thing. (No, he doesn’t read here. I don’t think he knows this blog exists.)

Has anyone else ever been through this? I know the bottom for someone doesn’t have to necessarily happen soon but I’d be lying if I said I hope it does because I don’t want to not have him as a friend for long.

But then again, this isn’t about me. 

2014: Day One

I saw this crown lying flattened in the street this morning. Someone had a good New Years Eve last night. And I did too! I went to my two and a half hour Kundalini yoga workshop (so cool, but incredibly different from your typical asana, should you be thinking of going) and then to Riposo 72 on West 72nd Street for dinner with one of my favorite friends. After a delicious meal and wine, we watched the ball drop (on TV – we’re no fools), and then we watched the fireworks outside over Central Park (I had no idea they set off fireworks over the partk!), and then I was in bed and asleep by 1am.

I started this morning off with errands and such, followed by a massage and a hatha yoga class with one of my first-ever yoga teachers. She told us to set our intention for 2014. I did, it was this: to be happy. I’m happy now, but it’s simply a reminder to always be grateful and happy.

After my yoga class, there were more errands and then dinner with two of my closest friends at The Meatball Shop on the UES. Now I’m home, touching up my nails, stretching, and watching Ted. Because I’m a goddamn adult. 

Happy new year!

Sunday, per usual.

Yesterday started off lazily. I wasn’t sure what I was going to do and it was nice out, so I went to run the loop in Central Park. I’ve never been able to accomplish this before, and I didn’t yesterday either, but I did about 5.4 miles so I was okay with that. I also did hurt my knee or ankle which have been kind of sore and/or hurting, so that was good.

I sat down on the grass to stretch and check my texts, and I saw this, text which turned into this conversation:

That was at 11am. After that I ran to TJ Maxx, where I sadly didn’t find any dresses I liked, so I went home, pulled something out of my closet, and proceeded to shower, do my hair, make-up, nails, feed myself, and make (by a hair, and I mean a hair – like I was buying my ticket as they announcing the doors were closing and I yelled to the conductor to stop – and he did!) a 1:45pm train out to Long Island. 

After a lovely hour and a half drive to Port Jeff (about two towns over from where I grew up), and listening to lots of unique music, we arrived at the venue. The wedding of two actors, of course, included singing. As part of their vows they sang a lovely acoustic version of Grow Old With You – from The Wedding Singer. The Rabbi was a woman, which I loved, and the ceremony was outside and very nice. 

There were toasts, and drinks, and food, and we headed out around 9:30 to head back to the city.

Typical Sunday, indeed. Two weddings in two weeks? No problem.