Review: My Terms of Surrender

Michael Moore’s My Terms of Surrender, his one-man piece on Broadway, closes today and I waited until the last minute to see it but I’m damn glad I did. I’m a fan of Michael Moore’s documentaries, although some truth’s may be hard to believe at times, he’s coming from a good place. They are slanted, yes, but all documentaries are. Documentaries are made subjectively, not objectively. Anyways, I felt it was my patriotic duty to see this show at least once.

I have to give Moore props for standing onstage for two-hours-and-fifteen-minutes, without an intermission. I expected this to be 90-minutes-no-intermission so I was stunned when I left the theatre and it was 10:15pm. Anyways the audience was pumped and the house was buzzing. I even spent $15 on a sippy cup of wine and wore my RESIST tank top. I was excited.

My Terms of Surrender is half-memoir and half-how-to-activism. I knew absolutely nothing about Moore’s life, like the fact that his speech about Abraham Lincoln and the hypocrisy of the Elks Club got the ball rolling on Capitol Hill to change the loop hole in the 1964 Civil Rights Act so that private clubs couldn’t keep discriminating. He was 17 at the time. Or the fact that he hated being slapped with a paddle by his principal so when he was 18, he figured out how to run for president of his school’s board and won (and 11 months later he had the principal and VP fired !!!!).

He realized when he was 17 that someone who was seemingly without power wasn’t necessarily powerless. He realized that somebody small, like him, could get shit done and it only took a little. Not doing anything big.

He talked about the beginning of the Iraq War when he was one of the only ones speaking out against it and he was ostracized for it. He said that when (not if) Trump declares war on North Korea, we have to speak up and speak out against it, and until we see North Koreans marching through the arch at Washington Square Park, there’s no reason to go to war with North Korea. “I can’t do this alone again,” he pleaded. I got you, dude. As a 17 year old I was against the Iraq War, and I’ll be against a North Korean war, too.

He also talked about the poison water in Flint, ridiculous TSA standards, and how we ended up with Trump. His post-show to-do list in the Playbill includes: 1) Make the Daily Call (go to 5calls.org); 2) Make the Monthly Visit (to your local reps office), 3) Show up at townhalls (duh); 4) Help Flip Congress in 2018 (oh yes, we must – we need 24 seats in the house); 5) The electoral college music go (another duh); 6) Join, join, join (the ACLU, BLM, Greenpeace, etc.); 7) Help form blue regions of resistance (help keep your blue state blue!); 8) YOU must run for office (what office should I run for??); 9) You must become the media (use our social media for good); 10) Join the army of comedy (#mockhimup) because he is thin skinned AF.

This closes in a few hours and I’m tempted to go see it again just to get inspired, but if you have the means and the time, GET THEE TO THE BELASCO THEATRE! The entire balcony is $29.

Winning in 2018 and 2020 is not an option. Let’s do this.

 

 

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Turn Off Your Facebook Feed

J doesn’t use Facebook. It’s not on his phone and he doesn’t log in. I haven’t had it on my phone in forever, but I sure as hell logged in way too often on my Macbook. Our bartender at brunch on Sunday told us how he hadn’t logged in for 10 days and had never felt better. I was inspired to do the same, so I logged out of Facebook yesterday afternoon and haven’t seen my feed in 24 hours. How many times have I clicked on the link for it reflexively out of habit? Too many. And instead of scrolling through my feed last night, I wrote cover letters. 

Every other link that’s on my feed is about how we’re screwed and the KKK is running the Trump regime and about how Trump is Hitler. I watched The Pianist on Saturday night and, holy shit, I guess it just takes a little reminder to refresh just how awful and unimaginable the Nazis were. No one in the administration so far is a Nazi. We’re getting “nationalist” confused for “white supremacist.” These are not the same things.

But my question is why the hell are we letting the media scare us so much about the future? They were 100% goddamn wrong about the election and so many other things. Why are we not fact checking their fear mongering headlines? The site snopes.com has been incredibly useful lately.

Remember when Mike Pence tried to pass a law forcing women to hold funerals for their miscarried or aborted fetuses? Yeah, that was a mostly false headline. The women were not responsible for the discarding of the tissue, the clinics that performed the services would be. And he didn’t actually support the use of electroshock therapy for gay conversion therapy either. I’m pretty sure there won’t be gay conversion therapy clinics opening anytime soon.

Is he still an ass-backwards religious turd that I would rather he was a farmer than a politician? Sure, but let’s not spread blatant lies about people so that people freak out for reasons that aren’t true.

This holiday season, please don’t reflexively repost “news” articles you see on your feed without reading and fact-checking them first. Let’s not be, as Green Day so eloquently once put it, “one nation controlled by the media.” Let’s save our sanity and our blood pressure. 

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Maryland Mother Arrested for Leaving 8- and 9-Year-Old Home Alone While She Picked Up Takeout

Um, what? The next generation of kids are going to be so helpless they won’t be able to wipe themselves. The cops also acted like assholes. If they really felt like she was in the wrong, give her a stern talking to – not handcuffs. 

Maybe this woman needed a break and also got a coffee. (I would need All Of The Coffee Breaks if I had an 8 and 9 year old.) Maybe the restaurant took a long time with the food. Either way: if you can’t leave your 8 and 9 year old kids home for 45 minutes without having to worry that they’re going to burn the vacation rental down, you probably shouldn’t have had them. 

But she wasn’t worried. Maybe she wasn’t a helicopter parent – obviously, I mean, she wasn’t. It was the cops who needed to mind their own business. If she’d left them along for 6 hours, or a day, I could see someone saying something. But 45 minutes? GFY. She should’ve told them there was probably a 4 year old with a shotgun somewhere near by that was maybe more concerning, but she was south of the Mason-Dixon, so they probably wouldn’t have been all that concerned.

My brother, who will be 21 in December, came into the city on Sunday to grab lunch with J and I and meet Playbill (obviously this was more important lunch). He was taking the train to Penn Station and my mother (a very proud self-proclaimed helicopter parent, sigh; it’sawonderIturnedoutsowell) wanted me to meet him at Penn Station because she was worried that he wouldn’t be able to figure out the subway. The subway route, btw, is taking one train uptown for a handful of stops and getting out on my corner. 

I wanted to tell her that if he can’t figure that out then she shouldn’t take him back to school next week because there’s no hope. But I didn’t. I just said no, that he could figure it out. 

And guess what, the almost-21-year-old figured out how to taking one fucking subway by himself to a designated stop. Golf claps. Seriously, parents of America, calm the fuck down. European parents are laughing. 

Maryland Mother Arrested for Leaving 8- and 9-Year-Old Home Alone While She Picked Up Takeout

Look, I know.

I know the convention is this week. I know it’s going to be a shitshow and I know Trump is the biggest, most bloated and asinine waste of human life since Hitler. I know all of this and yet I still think I’m going to stay off Facebook while this Cleveland rodeo is burning down everyone’s dreams of sanity. 

My Facebook feed is one meme after another trying to show off how much they hate Trump and how stupid he is. We all already know this. If you don’t, there’s no longer hope for you, as far as I’m concerned and I’m not wasting my precious time concerned with you. I’m not trying to change anyone’s minds. Clinton is super qualified to be president of the United States, but I would’ve rather been given the chance to vote for Bernie. Will I not vote in November? Nah, I’ll go and cast my pointless vote (for Clinton, and pointless because, come on, this is New York) and hope for a better candidate next time around and that we don’t get fucked with a Trump presidency.

I’m taking a break from Gawker, too, because it’s all so negative, just like my Facebook feed. I haven’t been reading Gawker regularly since I restricted my internet access during the day and I haven’t missed anything important. I don’t need updates on the candidates every move. I won’t even pay attention to the Democratic Convention because unless Clinton starts killing kittens, she has my vote.

A quite frankly, I don’t give a shit who can out-hate whom on Trump. 

And Just Like That

I posted last week about changing up my fitness routine and I did. I stopped doing 30 minutes of the same thing three mornings a week and it’s been awesome. 

Instead of 30 minutes on the elliptical, I’m now doing 20 minutes followed by 10 minutes of hand weights (is that what they’re called? I don’t know). I feel like the weights get my heart going faster than the elliptical. I miss out on that last 10 minutes of Morning Joe, but that’s okay. The news is crap anyways. 

I also resolved to start doing my barre DVD (at least the arms part) regularly again – meaning 2-3 times per week. I’ve re-introduced crunches (on a medicine ball) into my routine too. 

I cooked last night and have a bunch of food ready to eat so no more eating lunch at Dig Inn (because while it’s better than Schnippers, it can’t be all that good to eat regularly). 

Remember: if you want to change your routine, you can. Just like that

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Why I love New York and will never leave. In times of crisis, we are there for each other. This is Moishe, the owner of Moishe’s Bake Shop up the block, handing out cookies (or are they bagels?) to firefighters who were responding the collapsed buildings on 2nd Avenue yesterday. I’m going to go patronize his shop after work if I can get near it. 

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Some cool theatre news…

Josh Radnor and Laura Benanti will star in the revival of She Loves Me. That’s exciting – they’re both great onstage! Hopefully Radnor can sing? 

Do you like The Last 5 Years? Of course you do. You’re not stupid. A couple of songs from the film version were released. Read about it here. Adam Kantor and Betsy Wolfe, who starred in The Last 5 Years at Second Stage, will reprise their roles in San Francisco for three nights

John Cameron Mitchell is starting this week in the title role in Hedwig and the Angry Inch. This is, by far, the most exciting to happen to Broadway since… well, it’s been a while. 

Lin-Manuel Miranda’s newest musical, Hamilton, started previews at The Public tonight. Apparently it’s amazing. I hope I can score tickets somehow. 

And Clinton the Musical is coming to the stage off-Broadway at New World Stages. I’m very excited for this one. Will it be amazing? Probably not. Will it be a helluva good time? I’m predicting YES. 

I think that’s it for tonight.