At What Age

Speaking of not wanting kids, I went to the OBGYN for a colposcopy recently and I looked up during the extremely quick procedure and said to the doctor, “You can remove my entire cervix. I won’t need it for anything.” She replied, “Oh, I’m sure one day you might!”

I wanted to tell her that I’m 30, far from a child, and that I can make my own decisions, blah blah blah. But I did not. I just said, “Nope, no kids here” and laid back down.

Now that I’m 30, I’m wondering how many more years I have to endure people, my age and elders, as well as doctors, telling me I’ll change my mind someday. I’ve come to the place where I either smile and nod at people or tell them they’re out of their fucking minds, which usually shuts them right up.  

But I’m wondering at what age do you stop getting told that you’re silly and your uterus will turn on and you’ll want kids eventually? I mean, when does the biological clock supposedly stop ticking? 30? 35? 

As a woman, at what age is it acceptable to be like, “No, I actually don’t want kids and yes, I’m sure.” When do you finally earn the right to say you’re sure about your own feelings about something as possibly-life-ruining as bearing a child? Yes, you can change your feelings, but you can also change your feelings about who you marry and what house you buy and what color your dye your hair. But no one questions those decisions. 

I’m guessing it’s something that will eventually change from “Oh, you’ll change your mind someday” to “Oh, do you regret not having kids?” To which I will respond in the same blunt manner, “No, but do you regret having yours?”

Chelsea – Kids PSA: Sleeping In – Netflix

I posted a link to this on Facebook after I reblogged it on Tumblr. I thought it was hysterically irreverent. I should’ve known better and blocked my parents, at least my mother, from seeing it, as I knew she’d use any opportunity she could to call people who choose not to have kids selfish). I responded a couple of times about the charity work Handler does because she has all this extra time and that is helping the masses, not just her blood, but after a while I decided it was futile to continue and turned off the notifications and went to sleep.

I don’t think this video is necessarily putting down people who WANT to have kids. I think it’s highlighting the plus sides to NOT wanting kids.

Are kids really all that great? Since they ruin marriages and relationships, I’d say no. If you really want them though (and most people are biologically programmed to want them, so I understand, really), you should go into it with an open mind. Meaning the mindset that they’re going to turn out however the fuck they want to and you have zero control over this. You are literally just bringing a person into this world and they are their own person, not your person. And you are responsible for giving it food, clothing, and shelter, and they’re going to do with life what they want. 

I don’t think most parents recognize this. I think it’s why parents and children often fight, right up into adulthood.

I saw my dad comment that you can quit charity work at any time but you can’t quit parenting. Oh, RLY? Why are there so many single-parent homes? Why are there so many kids who need to be adopted? Kids are abandoned by their parents all the time, so this is not a valid argument. Please try again. 

I stand by this video and the sentiment. If you want to have kids, great. I’m a huge fan of adopting if you really need to raise children, but to each their own because I know that’s not what humankind is programmed to want.

If you’ll excuse me, I have to go to back to relaxing now because I don’t have to go anywhere I don’t want to go today because I don’t have any fucking children. 😉

Chelsea – Kids PSA: Sleeping In – Netflix

The Controversial Reasons Why Intelligent Women Aren’t Having Children

This is just brilliant. I’m not knocking any women who want to have kids, or who give into their husband’s wishes for a family even when it might not be their own, and I’m not calling women who have kids stupid. At all!

I’m simply saying there’s nothing wrong with me, or anyone else, for not wanting kids. In fact, I’m smarter than you give me credit for. Studies now prove it. 

The Controversial Reasons Why Intelligent Women Aren’t Having Children

The Reluctant Mother

countrymouseconfessions:

I’m just going to level with you: I’ve been struggling lately. By “lately” I mean “since I found out I’m becoming a mother.” Typically I don’t write negative things. I like to be a shiny, happy person. But this has been weighing on my mind, and it’s not really a negative thing, and I know there…

Holy shit. This lovely lady is one of my friend’s from college and she is so brave to be able to vocalize her feelings, as I’m sure many would be many pearls-clutchy women out there like, “How DARE she not be TOTALLY-THRILLED-OMFG for her daughter??

This is another huge reason why I’m not having kids. I know Mallory will be a great mom. I suspect I’d be feeling like this if my entire life was about to change and I’d have a fucking heart attack and there would be no way to turn back the clock, so that’s why I’m not starting the clock to begin with. I have enough anxiety to begin with about trivial things, so let’s throw another person’s life into it. 

Sending you good vibes, Mallory.

The Reluctant Mother

25 Famous Women on Childlessness

Love this. Though the term is “childfree,” but whatever. Ashely Judd is spot on – though her words are a little harsh. Zooey Deschanel is also absolutely right. I had no idea Katherine Hepburn was childfree too.

Finally people are coming out of the closet and talking about their decisions. Now all we need are some dudes to do the same. 

25 Famous Women on Childlessness