Typical Friday night.

After I left the office on Friday night, I grabbed a pint at the Macdougal Ale House, a kati roll from The Kati Roll Company, and eventually would up passing by the NYU Center for Spiritual Life and using the meditation room. When I saw Gabby Bernstein give a talk there a couple of years ago, she’d mentioned they had a meditation room and so I went to find it. 

After some rejuvenation, I raced over to The Bitter End to see my friend Lindsay perform with her band (so awesome!) and our friend Ian performed a song with her too. We’ve all known each other since we were 16/17 and performed in GREASE together. It was a good reunion.

Afterward I headed over to Cafe Reggio with Ben where he had some coffee and I had some ice cream (nom). 

All in all, a good Friday night. 

Subtle Shifts in 42 Days

After reading Gabrielle Bernstein’s first two books, I ordered her latest, May Cause Miracles. I finished the 42nd day this morning and I’m in love with her way of thinking.

I know there’s a chance it could be a load of bullshit, but it’s helping me in small ways: I’m not feeding into people’s anger, or stress, and I’m learning forgiveness (of myself and others). And I’m not hurting anyone else, so who cares?

It’s been rather pleasant to wake up, read that day’s morning chapter, set my affirmation on my phone, then meditate. I’ve been feeling really serene after my morning meditations recently and it’s nice. I wish I could convince everyone I know to meditate, but there will always be skeptics or people who are just too stubborn to stop themselves for 10 minutes a day to slow down and just breathe.

Earlier this week a guy I’d once dated told me he was dating someone knew. I almost switched into victim-mode with “why is everyone in a relationship but me?!” but I witnessed this bullshit, emailed a friend who confirmed that it was bullshit, and then picked up May Cause Miracles before going to sleep. Noticing my bullshit coming up was huge for me. 

Her teachings are very similar to Eckhart Tolle’s because they both urge disassociation from the ego. I recently had a conversation with a friend who thinks that that the ego is your sense of self-esteem. This, in my opinion (and many others’ opinions), is false. A friend explained it to me like this: Your self esteem is your self worth, and your ego is all the labels that you can use to identify yourself and project onto the outside world. I think of the ego also as the way you use external affirmations to derive your self-worth (which of course is bullshit because happiness comes from within). 

The aforementioned friend thinks that not having an ego means not having an identity and he is skeptical of anyone who is anti-ego. What do you guys think?

Gabrielle Bernstein is giving a lecture at the end of July at NYU. My ticket is purchased and I’ve even convinced one of my good, semi-cynical guy friends (who is currently reading Spirit Junkie!) to come with me. 

So, ego vs. self esteem? Is there a difference?