Chelsea – Kids PSA: Sleeping In – Netflix

I posted a link to this on Facebook after I reblogged it on Tumblr. I thought it was hysterically irreverent. I should’ve known better and blocked my parents, at least my mother, from seeing it, as I knew she’d use any opportunity she could to call people who choose not to have kids selfish). I responded a couple of times about the charity work Handler does because she has all this extra time and that is helping the masses, not just her blood, but after a while I decided it was futile to continue and turned off the notifications and went to sleep.

I don’t think this video is necessarily putting down people who WANT to have kids. I think it’s highlighting the plus sides to NOT wanting kids.

Are kids really all that great? Since they ruin marriages and relationships, I’d say no. If you really want them though (and most people are biologically programmed to want them, so I understand, really), you should go into it with an open mind. Meaning the mindset that they’re going to turn out however the fuck they want to and you have zero control over this. You are literally just bringing a person into this world and they are their own person, not your person. And you are responsible for giving it food, clothing, and shelter, and they’re going to do with life what they want. 

I don’t think most parents recognize this. I think it’s why parents and children often fight, right up into adulthood.

I saw my dad comment that you can quit charity work at any time but you can’t quit parenting. Oh, RLY? Why are there so many single-parent homes? Why are there so many kids who need to be adopted? Kids are abandoned by their parents all the time, so this is not a valid argument. Please try again. 

I stand by this video and the sentiment. If you want to have kids, great. I’m a huge fan of adopting if you really need to raise children, but to each their own because I know that’s not what humankind is programmed to want.

If you’ll excuse me, I have to go to back to relaxing now because I don’t have to go anywhere I don’t want to go today because I don’t have any fucking children. 😉

Chelsea – Kids PSA: Sleeping In – Netflix

What If You Just Don’t Know If You Want Kids?

Still don’t want kids, but: Yes, yes, yes: “Carroll says ambivalent women should come to terms with the fact that maybe they’re just not that into motherhood. If they can’t decide, “more often than not, the desire isn’t that strong,” she told me. “They have to come to terms with that. A lot of women who keep pushing it off, the truth is they’re pushing it off because it’s not that important.””

What If You Just Don’t Know If You Want Kids?

The Reluctant Mother

countrymouseconfessions:

I’m just going to level with you: I’ve been struggling lately. By “lately” I mean “since I found out I’m becoming a mother.” Typically I don’t write negative things. I like to be a shiny, happy person. But this has been weighing on my mind, and it’s not really a negative thing, and I know there…

Holy shit. This lovely lady is one of my friend’s from college and she is so brave to be able to vocalize her feelings, as I’m sure many would be many pearls-clutchy women out there like, “How DARE she not be TOTALLY-THRILLED-OMFG for her daughter??

This is another huge reason why I’m not having kids. I know Mallory will be a great mom. I suspect I’d be feeling like this if my entire life was about to change and I’d have a fucking heart attack and there would be no way to turn back the clock, so that’s why I’m not starting the clock to begin with. I have enough anxiety to begin with about trivial things, so let’s throw another person’s life into it. 

Sending you good vibes, Mallory.

The Reluctant Mother

Last week I finally procured a copy of Ramshackle Glam, the new book by Jordan Reid, a favorite blogger of mine for years now. I’ve met her a few times and she’s just as awesome in person as her words would have you think.

The weird thing is: this book has absolutely no relevance in my life. At all. I felt silly reading it on the train this weekend because I was afraid people would think I was pregnant. This is not something that’s true nor is it ever something that I plan to have happen (I’ve said it before: I don’t want kids, it’s just a personal thing!).

But nevertheless, I love Jordan’s writing and her book has a tone of “do what you love, eff what anyone thinks,” and it’s great. I like the recipes and the decoration tips (I’m taking the inspiration board advice for my future apartment). I love her writing because she writes with a ton of hyperbole. Which is both amusing and emotionally evocative. 

But one could say this book was a success, because it gave me a bit of insight of what mothers go through (most likely my own mother too!) and also made me super-duper-sure that I don’t want to embark on that endeavor. The specific moment when I was all, “Nope, definitely not for me!” was the following:

The fact that my decision to shoot my very first style post was preceded by this exact thought: ‘Hmm… I wonder what I should do this afternoon’ Nowadays, that is not a question that enters my mind. Everrrr.

Call it selfish or whatever you want but I don’t want to ever be so busy and have so many things on my to do list that it wakes me up in the middle of the night. I have enough anxiety as it is; no need to add another living being to it. I’m not sure I could add a pet cat to it. 

So whether or not you want kids, Ramshackle Glam is an amusing, insightful, and thoughtful read into Reid’s life and her experience as a mother.