Hamilton X’ion Line

Today, June 1st, was the day that @endotique and I were going to brave the cancellation line at Hamilton. She saw it in December and offered me one of her tickets, if she got in, but I felt bad because she had gotten there at 6am and I had been lazy, so I declined out of principal. Now I sure as fuck wish I’d said yes, but that is neither here nor there. Both of our significant others wanted to see it now, as well as myself, so we planned to grit our teeth and do the line. 

These plans were obviously canceled as we are both showered and at our jobs today and not dirty from having slept on the sidewalk last night. (Take my word for it.)

We kept track of the cancellation line thread on BroadwayWorld over time and as the date approached, we grew more apprehensive of attempting this. Was it really worth it? She’d said it was a really, really solid show. Like more solid than anything she’d seen in years. I’ve only heard the score and I thought it was super catchy. But was it worth a 24+ hour wait on the sidewalk? We questioned that. Hard.

We are seasoned at waiting in lines for tickets. In fact, it’s how we met. We met waiting on line for 10+ hours for front row seats to the final performance of Lennon (total Broadway hit!). That was different – it was the last show, the tickets were $25, and they were guaranteed. 

Anyway, the Hamilton cancellation line is a total shitshow. Line sitters, new rules from the theatre intended to cut down on line sitters which really don’t, animosity from other insane people on the line, and enduring this massive load of bullshit doesn’t even guarantee you tickets. People are lining up two days ahead of showtime. 

I’m sorry to break it to everyone but there is no show on earth, ever, that is worth living on the street for two or three days. I understand college students oftentimes have nothing to do for days on end during the summer, but come on. Get an internship or a job. Do something productive. Then you can afford tickets when more go on sale. And then there are all the out-of-towners asking if it’s “safe in Times Square overnight for a woman.” Apparently these people don’t know that Rudy Guiliani happened in the 90′s. 

I somehow missed the signal that more Hamilton tickets were going on sale when they released the last block, but I won’t next time. Sure, some of the original cast will be gone but I will never have seen them so I won’t know the difference.

This is just a word to the people considering this: don’t do it. You’re smarter than this. There are lots of other fantastic shows out this season – The Color Purple, or Fiddler on the Roof, for example. Go see those instead. Go see anything else because no show is worth a 48-72 hour wait on the street and if you think otherwise, please consult a neurologist ASAP. 

Hey, Broadway snobs: Your time to prove you can walk the walk is here. Serino Coyne emailed me the other with details about this first-ever-of-it’s-kind night and it sounds pretty cool. I know I am a black hole of theatre trivia when I’m around say, non-theatre types, but when around a bunch of other theater nerds? Who knows what could happen.

As the above flyer says, it’s on February 25th at 8pm at Croton Reservoir Tavern, just south of Times Square on 40th Street. Space is limited so if you plan on going, please RSVP! See you there!